Saturday, April 18, 2009

Bulls and Bruises

We roll into Pima County Fair around four. The weather is warmer and the crows are a bit more active than yesterday. As I enter our tent I feel someone staring at me. I turn and there he is.

Champ. He was eyeballing me all last year. He has some problem with me. Did I steal his girl? Did I insult his mother? Whatever it is we have a score to settle. The showdown is set for after out second show. Once the sun goes down it is time to ride.

I mount ole' Champ. He jerks a bit but nothing Mr. Vomit can't handle. Not so tough, but what do you expect for a bull with no legs?

Champ starts playing rough! He bucks and swings. Those skinny carny legs hold on for dear life!

Champ tosses me to the ground. He proves himself to be the better man. Or at least the better bovine cyborg. With the way my legs feel afterwards I believe that he was sent from the future to keep me from sirring the leader of the resistance.

During our ten o'clock show we try something new. While in my straitjacket John comes on stage and sticks a plunger onto my bald head. To my surprise I was able to get my arms over my head without popping the plunger off. I start to tug at the plunger and it gets a good laugh. I'm gonna milk this. I struggle and pull and toss myself about trying to get it off. It pops with a great sound and the crowd loves it.

This morning I see the results of my antics.

Giant hickey upon my head. Please note this is twelve hours later. See how I suffer for my art? Sideshow is a dangerous business friends.

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